I personally believe that both nature and nurture shape the development of small humans, and so, in order to properly understand a regular sized human, you must embark upon an exploration of his or her history. So, here is mine. Forgive me for my lack of perfect chronology, but I try to make it somewhat easy to follow.
|For all you know, this baby could grow up to be a serial killer. This is not a picture of me. I am not a serial killer.|
At a young age, I experienced a family move from Nebraska to Florida. Growing up with frequent visits "back home", I fully feel that I simultaneously grew up in a rural and an industrial society. Therefore, I know everything. Well, not really. But I find it fascinating to compare the two.
I have two younger sisters, and grew up with an ever-rotating array of pets. I no longer live with my parents, but I still feel a certain attachment to the animals. Currently, my parents feed and nurture two dogs, two cats, a rabbit, and a guinea pig. In our backyard is buried a different dog, the rabbit's spouse, and all of the rabbit's lost babies. I fully believe that my mother's incessant need to surround herself with pets is directly related to the awful shell-shock that she experienced by moving to Florida. For someone who lived on a farm for thirty years to uproot and follow her husband to a shockingly stereotypical suburb outside of a big city, I'm surprised we don't have more animals in our house. Hell, I'm surprised we don't have a goat.
|I may look cute, but my shit smells to high heaven. Believe me.|
In the third-ish grade, I was proclaimed "gifted" by the elementary school counselor Thanks, you rotten bitch. I was then trust into "egg-head classes," and for the remainder of my elementary and subsequent middle school life, suffered from horrible social failure. In middle school I also joined the band as a trumpet player. That didn't help. But, as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer pointed out, any and all misfits are free to be "independent together!" I had friends, just not popularity. I grew to not care about that as well, which is perhaps a factor in my general attitude as a young adult.
|You think this shit is easy to put together at 6am every morning? Nope.|
For the record, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 16. It was two weeks before my 17th birthday so I'm tempted to say that I was 17 so I seem less promiscuous, but what is a blog without honesty? I was in a happy long-term relationship, but of course, high school "love" never lasts.
|Wait... you mean prom WASN'T a rehearsal for my future wedding? Why didn't anyone tell me?|
|Yes, it's true that my inner nerd was driven by mental health issues all along. But old habits die hard.|
|This is how I like to imagine myself, except I'm a bit paler. And a bit... rounder. And a lot less balanced. And... oh, fuck it.|